A whole new world

Oh man,  somedays, it is just as hard as I thought it would be-- being a mom of two.  My brother always said that once he had two kids, he and his wife were so busy--they didn't have time to wipe their butts.  I always thought he was exaggerating...

And really, in the beginning it was a pretty easy transition.  Anna still napped for a couple of hours each day, Richard was working from home.  We did so many fun things every day!  Life was sweet and good and I loved my new little man.  I naively thought I had escaped the hardship of the transition to two children.  Maybe I thought I was just an amazing mom...

And then one night around 3 am I heard a scream.  And it was Anna.  And she was in our bathtub...out of her crib...in the middle of the night...holding a glass of milk.  For the first time, Anna had learned how to climb out of her crib!  She got out, went to get something to drink out of the fridge and then decided she would enjoy her nightcap in our bathtub.  Little did I understand the ramifications of that action.   I was so concerned for her well-being that night that I failed to appreciate the fact that from that moment on, there was nothing that could keep Anna in her room (oddly enough, the only two rooms that lock are the bathrooms-- which I appreciate...for my sense of modesty).

That is when our lives changed forever.  Anna no longer napped, and whereas previously, we would determine the beginning of day and when to get her from her crib, Anna now decided most mercilessly when the day began-- most of the time around 6 am.  It was the same story at night.  We would put her to bed, only to have her bounce out, turn on the light and do the toddler equivalent of thumbing he nose at us. Without Anna's mid-day nap, my days became harrowing and long.  And without her mid-day nap, my daughter's personality became decidedly grumpy.  And she would still take her little jaunts in the middle of the night.  Sometimes she would get graham crackers from the kitchen and take them back to her room and start reading books in the middle of the night.  Sometimes she would try to find us and get in our beds.  It was worse than having an infant.  Benjamin became the easy one!

And oh yeah, I just got called as Relief Society president!  Try to figure that one out.  A Relief Society president with braces and an infant.  God certainly has a plan, but He has not yet revealed it to me.  So this means another year or two in the Northwest...bittersweet, bittersweet!

The worst day was when I found myself huddling outside our home with Benjamin, desperate to have a few moments away from Anna because she was making me so angry that I was swearing in my head (that is pretty bad...for me).  I was exhausted, I had no patience left, and as far as I knew there was no solution for having a three year old.  I texted Richard and told him I would trade with him right then...that as boring as it seemed to be an accountant, it had to be better than that feeling of desperation that the hard times will never end.

And then that day ends, and the next day is different, and there are popsicles.  And then you take your daughter to the temple and she touches one of the walls and tells you "God painted the temple because He loved the children."  And then one Sunday she wants to go up the podium after church so she can whisper into the microphone "I love Jesus Christ."  And then you find out you are going to get your braces off in less than a month and that you had no cavities at your last dentist appointment.

And about that new calling.  I may be inadequate.   I may be overwhelmed.  I may have thought I would have another twenty years before I would ever have to fill those shoes.  I may think that God is CRAZY.  But overall, I am so honored that God trusts me.  My greatest desire is to complete my life's mission, whatever that is.  And I know that every time I accept a new challenge, I become stronger and my capacity increases.  And I know HE will help me.  And I know He will help me with Anna, and I know our family will be blessed.  And I know I can bring a little bit of needed absurdity to Relief Society.  I think I make women feel better about themselves because they can say "hey, well at least I am not as ridiculous as Rachael" (and yes, I still stick my foot in my mouth on a weekly basis).

So, life is interesting and unexpected.