An ode to things that make me happy at Christmas

Thank you portable DVD player-- for saving our daughter and us during 3 days and 20 hours of driving. In your glowing blue screen we found solace, sanity...and Elmo.

Thank you M&M company-- thank you for making mint, pretzel, and peanut butter M&Ms. You made our trip merry and sweet.

Thank you anonymous rich guy in a black escalade for driving me home when I stopped to ask for directions after I got myself helplessly lost when I went running yesterday. Not only was your lawn impeccably decorated with millions of lights, but you truly embodied the spirit of Christmas by helping out a poor soul without a sense of direction. Thank you also for not kidnapping me when I got into your car.

Thank you Oreos for making it so easy to make Christmas candy.

Thank you Christian congregations everywhere for holding Christmas Eve services that welcome everyone to come and participate in honoring the birth of the savior.

Thank you Roosters, for supplying at least one food challenge that still makes my husband sweat.

Thank you, my body, for remembering how to run. I know it has been awhile.

Thank you, sun, for coming out today. Stars, kudos to you as well for shining so bright tonight. You couldn't have timed it more perfectly.

Thank you metabolism for putting up with all the extra holiday treats I have been consuming. I know I make you work really hard this time of year.

Thank you Christmas music. You never get old and you never fail to inspire.

Thank you family and friends for making us feel so loved this holiday season. For showing us how truly blessed we are. For making this the best Christmas ever.

Today we head out, but not before...

I add a bunch of gratuitous Christmas light images...or maybe just 6.
Bellevue has this incredible light display in their Botanical gardens. My pictures just don't do it justice. And if there seems to be a haze in the middle of the pictures...it is because we are so consumed with the spirit of Christmas that we give off a glow...or that there is a fingerprint on the lens that I have yet to clean (but probably the first reason is the most accurate).

can you see my braces? I have the clear brackets.


Anna loved the "pond" they created with lights. They have done some amazing things with Christmas lights.
but don't try to jump in it. Anna did, and she just got covered in mud. Actually, she really did try to get in it, and slipped in some mud.
That is a happy baby. So many lights to see.

So now we head out to Colorado-- a three day drive that will determine if we ever go on a long trip with Anna again. But we have 6 Elmo movies, 2 Baby signing times, some Veggie tales movie, and The Wiggles, and Pride and Prejudice (Anna loves Jane Austen....or she WILL love Jane Austen). In addition, I bought 6 bags of candy-- Kit Kats, York patties, rolos, and 3 varieties of M&Ms.

we are so ready.

A Christmas party

One of my favorite new Christmas traditions, is the yearly gingerbread house party. You could interpret that as a gingerbread house party or a gingerbread house party. This year I was going to be really ambitious and make actual gingerbread...and I DID make gingerbread...but I would be a faulty contractor if I used such sorry materials in making any kind of house. So graham crackers it was.
This is my general store. Someday I will attempt a building that is more than just a box measured by lengths of graham cracker sheets. I have to say, my favorite building material was nerds (were nerds?). And my favorite part about building gingerbread houses is eating the building materials as you go. I ended the afternoon in a sugar coma.
This is as close as I can get to being a home owner.

no party of ours would be complete without the famed Buffalo Chicken Pizza
nothing like mindless cartoons to entertain the kiddies while the adults play.
my friend Monica and her husband built this nod to modernist architecture in the style of Frank Lloyd Wright. Only very small, very minimalist gingerbread men live there.
this almost would have been a good photo. And I almost would have been a good photographer. But I had to include it, because Anna is so cute.

Just a few random thoughts

This week was an interesting week for me.

I had some continuing legal education classes I attended Tuesday and Wednesday so my mother in law came and stayed with us so that she could watch Anna while I went to class. I learned a few things from this experience.

1) I got intensely jealous whenever I heard Anna laughing in the other room with her grandma (something that happened quite a lot). Anna and her grandma would sit for hours reading together or exploring Anna's toybox or just walking around our little backyard together, and there was a part of me that felt almost replaced-- as if Anna had found a better mother-- one more dedicated to making her happy. A few times I almost felt like I was interrupting them when I would come in and sit next to them on the floor-- as if I was an unwelcome visitor on their time together.

2) when I am jealous, I also become insecure (see above)

3) although I really enjoyed attending the classes...I found my mind wandering back home to where Anna was. I really missed her. I kept wondering what she was doing. And I would find myself re-watching some short video segments of her I had taken on my phone. The highlight of my life came when I arrived home after the first day of classes-- the first full day I have ever been away from my little girl-- and my Anna ran to me full tilt with the biggest smile and giggles I have ever seen and actually let me sweep her up in my arms, and she hugged me back. She has never done that. Not only is she too busy exploring rocks and pine cones, but I have never given her a cause to miss me. I felt validated and sure of my place in her heart. I am the mom!

4) I finally could empathize with my husband Richard. Its funny, I am always demanding that he have some sympathy for my plight as a stay-at-home mom, but I am rarely willing to do the same for him and see that there are definite drawbacks to having a full time job, day after day. Richard misses his daughter sorely when he is at work, and sometimes he even worries that she won't remember him or that their relationship is not as strong because of it. Its hard to only see your child an hour or two a day (if that). I also realized that it is mentally and physically tiring to go off to a job every day. I realized that I am always asking Richard to do so many things for me from the moment he gets home from work, because all I can think of is how hard I worked all day and how much I deserve relief. I think I should let him sit on the couch more!

5) I am definitely drawn to certain areas of the law. During tax law, corporate law, and land use planning, I made dinner menus for the week, wrote a Christmas list for Richard, and started writing an insert for our Christmas card. Those were my less conspicuous methods of diverting boredom. The topics that I stayed alert and focused during were elder law, patent law, and criminal defense.

6) one of the highlights of the whole two days was riding the bus with Richard. I got to see the sun rise and see Mount Ranier on the way to work. And I got to hold my sweethearts hand.

A bit sarcastic...even then.

It is my last night in St. George before heading home to Seattle. I started going through a box of school memorabilia and was quite amazed. I couldn't remember doing half of that stuff. Apparently all my attempts to forget middle school worked.

I found an old paper I wrote entitled "Trout." (original grammatical and spelling errors included) Apparently it was supposed to be a persuasive paper. You will have to let me know if I succeeded in persuading you.

"I think we would be better off with another National Mascot. I really do!! What good comes from having a mascot that might be extinct in a few years. What does the eagle have to do with our nation anyway. Their pretty to look at, sure. But do they really stand for liberty and freedom when their stashed in zoos around the world. Trout, now that's the way to go. There is plenty of fish to go around. They will never die out.
Is there anything more American than fishing? Besides apple pie I mean. We have been doing it for thousands of years and we will do it for another thousand. Just think, every time you catch a fish and eat it you can think of this wonderful nation of ours in which we live. Just look at their slimy scaly backsides, and you can think of our government. What more could you ask for."

Santa's new helper

You can find a lot of unexpected things in St. George...
like Santa for instance.
He runs story hour in the library on Mondays at 10 am and 11 am (its not quite his busy season yet). Maybe that is how he keeps tabs on the good boys and girls (although, if "good" is measured by how well you sit in your seat and pay attention...then Anna is in a LOT of trouble!). These days he goes by the name of "Steve" ("Kris Kringle" is apparently no longer a good alias-- too many movies ratting him out)

"Steve" confided to Anna that he needed a little help this year delivering presents. Turns out his latest driver's test didn't go so well (he was caught with some open eggnog containers) and his sleigh license has been revoked temporarily
so Anna has been practicing all week using this wagon. Which makes me her makeshift "reindeer." She can be a bear with that whip though!

the best way...

The best way to keep up to date with fads, trends, entertainment, and the modern day world....

is to get your hair cut at a hair academy by a student.

Here are some snippets of the conversation that ensued over my 2 hour hair cut (she wanted my hair to look perfect so she cut each strand individually):

student 1: I can't believe that Taylor got a huge tattoo all over his shoulders, and its not even the name of his mom, its the name of the motorbike store where he works
student 2: are you guys going out?
student 1: no, he is just texting me!
student 2: did you see the American music awards last night
student 1: just part of it
me: I didn't see it.
student 2: Justin Beiber won everything-- best boy singer, best musician, best new artist..
me: every time I see him, I just want to push his hair out of his eyes.
student 1: he is so young...how old is he-- 15.....that is way too young to make that much money, he is probably going to end up like Lindsay Lohan going through Rehab.
me: I think she has been through rehab 4 times, but her mom says that only two times were court ordered so that the other two do not count.
student 1: she probably spent a billion dollars on cocaine and that is why she is so broke now.
me: yeah...and she's not even cute, either.
me: (listening to the play list blaring throughout the salon) is that Rhianna?
me: (same scenario) and that's Shakira, right?
student 1: thats Keisha...we SO need to get a new playlist!
me: did she get her start on the Disney channel?
student 1: no, Keisha is just trashy!
me: well, how did she get discovered? I thought all singers either got their start on the Disney channel or American Idol? Was she just singing in a bar one day...

all I can say, is that it was entertaining!

things I'm not 'post to eat

I got braces TODAY....and I was not expecting it. I thought they would take some molds, some more photos, and then send me on my way. But then they just started gluing the brackets on, and it was too late to change my mind.

If I had known that today was THE day, I would have spent some leisurely time with my teeth this morning. I would have brushed 3 or 4 times, and I would have spent the morning just running my tongue over my teeth. Then I would have eaten a bag of caramels, some corn on the cob, and then I would have brushed again.

*sigh*

Here is the list of things I not 'post to eat

* hard candy (that's okay, there is better candy out there than mints and jolley ranchers)
*corn chips (I can live with that-- there are lots better junk foods out there)
*popcorn (this is considered a "hard" food. but what am I supposed to eat during movies-- marshmallows?)
*jerky (why...oh why can't I have my dried animal flesh?)
*ice (its just frozen water...I can wait for it to melt)
*nuts (that is what peanut butter is for)
* pizza crust (WHAT???!! This is not happening. Why do I have to choose between happiness and healthy teeth. Some things are just more important.)
*corn on the cob (the punitive damages of eating corn on the cob with braces is too much to ignore)
*sticky candy such as Starbursts, gummy bears, and caramels (basically all my vices. Gummy candy is my equivalent of medical marijuana. Its makes me happy)

additionally, fruits and vegetables need to be cooked or cut into small pieces. So that means that Anna and I should roughly have the same diet-- soft boring foods!

I try not to make promises I can't keep. Therefore, I will try to eat less of the forbidden foods, and will cut my pizza into small pieces and melt my caramel before I eat it. As for the gummy candy....well, I will just have to replace them with chocolate!

Has anyone had bad experiences with food and braces? I can't remember and I am trying to figure what I should consider hard and fast "rules" and what should be considered mere suggestions?
*

Christmas card time!

Hey everyone, it is that time of the year again-- when I go back to the address list we used for our wedding to try to put together some kind of Christmas list for cards (our friend Kaela put together this beauty for us last year).

However, if any of you have changed your address since the spring of 2007, or if I have met you since then, please let me know your current address, whether it be couch, tent, or yacht.

So if you want this year's card (and who wouldn't....really?), let me know, and leave me a way to send it to you.

Braces...

Braces...

I have been trying to deny that I need them. I have been in denial for a few years now. But it is time to face the music. My dentist staged an intervention and referred me to an orthodontist. I have very short roots on my front teeth, and if things continue as they are, I could potentially lose them fairly young. And despite the poor way I have cared for my teeth in the past (I have been to a dentist, an endodontist, a periodontist, and an orthodontist in my brief life), I am actually quite attached to them and want to keep them for as long as possible.

But for the first time in my thrifty shopper life, I actually want less for my money-- braces for as little time as possible.

Turns out, I have a smaller uppper jaw, but a pretty big tongue (haha, I know I know-- fits right into my big mouth), which means that over time my tongue has forced my teeth apart on the sides. It also doesn't help that I chew on my tongue when I concentrate (most of you will be nodding at this-- you have seen it, and it makes me look like an imbecile). So now I have a hugely open bite and my front teeth (which are beautifully straight) are the ones bearing all of the pressure when I chew.

So the diagnostic is....
braces for 18 months, along with surgery to widen my upper jaw.

That might sound like a long time, but I had braces on for 7 years before (thats right...7 years), so 18 months seems like nothing.

But this time, I will actually go to my orthodontic appointments (I skipped my appointments for a whole year once), and I will wear my rubber bands (it was only slightly more important than flossing, which I also didn't do), and I will wear my retainer (I think I lost it and then never tried to get it replaced...)

Lesson: Take care of your teeth

On the outs with Daylight Savings

I used to love Daylight savings time....an extra hour of sleep, right? As a kid, daylight savings is the best because you get to sleep in later and stay up later...

Unsurprisingly, Anna does not believe in Daylight Savings (I kept trying to tell her to set her clocks back an hour, but she decided to get up at her usual time-- a lovely 6 am this morning), and Frankly (Delano Roosevelt), neither do I.

Apparently, Mr. George Vernon Hudson was the first person to propose the idea of Daylight Savings in the late 1800's. He was an entomologist that liked to collect bugs in his after-hours and he needed more daylight to do his work. Apparently, you CAN expect the world to revolve around you. I mean, what about all the vampires that need more darkness to do THEIR work? Are we going to value one man's hobby over another? IS that fair?

And...I have just learned....Daylight Savings is OPTIONAL. Arizona and Hawaii have seceded from the Daylight Savings union! Now that is train I could get on board.

Amazing Seattle

Seattle weather, as it actually is (and not how people think it is), is really quite amazing. This last week has been incredibly warm-- the warmest November weather in Seattle history. I have spent most of my free time with my face tipped toward the sun (keeping one eye on Anna of course). I took a few moments to snap some pictures of the blueberry farm and lake close to our home and had some epiphanies about parenthood (and how it is like Seattle weather).

When the sun is shining in Seattle, there is nothing more glorious. Everything seems touched by brilliance and light.
the colors are so rich and beautiful that you feel like they have been painted on.
you actually think that you could see yourself camping for the rest of your life...or at least building a house made completely of windows-- roof optional.
everything makes you happy, and nothing annoys you-- long lines, grocery lists, errands.....and all because the sun is shining
you find delight in the smallest things...
and you wonder why anyone could possibly ever be unhappy here.
But not all days are like that.
There are some days that rain ALL day. And the bottom of your pants have inches of mud on them, and you feel perpetually cold, and the color of the sky never seems to change from steely gray. The sun, in fact, seems to be on vacation, and has taken with it all that is good and happy.
But most days are not like that either. Most days are fairly mild... and include brief periods of rain and gray mist as well as interludes of sunshine and color.
But the reason why people live in Seattle, through those sometimes hard winter days when you feel as gray as the sky...are for the brilliant summers when life is radiant and glorious, and for the beautiful surprises of sunshine and warmth you get from time to time the rest of the year.
Anna, I love you little girl! We have had some hard days for sure, and we have both shed our share of tears...but my life is more full of sunshine because of you. I am happy right where I am...and I'll stick with you if you stick with me!

Halloween 2010: The princess and the frog

Halloween 2010 proudly presents an encore showing of the Princess and the Frog.Starring Anna Rose as the froggy....

with her supporting cast of Rachael as princess and Richard as villain

the climax of the show-- the princess kisses her froggy

the froggy, however, does not look too excited about it. Perhaps she wants to stay a froggy!

the best things in life are candy! I LOVE candy. I love Halloween. I love FREE CANDY. Thanks to Richard's office party, we got to four floors of candy giving, cubicle goodness in record time. Trick or treating at its most efficient. Guess how long this candy will last us?

a) one month

b) two weeks

c) one week

d) its already gone...

The official fruit of Halloween: the ultimate caramel apple.

One day a year, I am willing to watch a scary movie (Richard loves to watch scary movies the entire month of October. Thanks to AMC and TCM and TNT, he can watch an infinite amount of movies. His favorite-- "Halloween" ala Mike Meyers). However, the kind of scary movie I can get up the courage to watch, is fairly limited. I don't handle gore, so the Halloween, Friday the 13th, Scream, Final Destination, and Saw franchises definitely don't work.

Richard and I have been reading Bram Stokers Dracula this month, so it made this years decision easier (usually we go with a Hitchcock). I love the book! Its eerie and suspenseful and well-written. The movie--- not very good. But I successfully came away with no nightmares.

Rattlesnake Ledge and a cross-section of Washington demographics

So Rattlesnake ledge is pretty awesome. A great hike for anyone who lives remotely close to Seattle. It only takes a morning and the view at the top or the bottom is very rewarding. Having been prematurely warned that Seattle is going to have another really bad winter, we are trying to take advantage of every last sunny day. And this one was gorgeous! This is rattlesnake lake (I think). I did not see a single rattlesnake the whole time. So I have no idea where the name comes from.

Anna and I assumed the usual position-- she went into powersave mode and I became a happy backpacker.

Anna is unusually good pointing. In her recent 15 month check up the doctor asked if she communicates by pointing....

Is the sky blue

Am I a natural brunette

Do babies go through a lot of diapers

Are graham crackers the manna of the baby gods!

The answer is yes!

Will Richard and I EVER let Anna wander around on the top of the mountain without a harness, safety net, and parachute....probably not until she is 20! She is probably thinking "ooh, water, I want to touch it..."

The area around the lake was covered with rocks. Anna loves to look at, and pick up, rocks. So she wanted to look at each one...individually...and put it in her mouth...to make sure it was rock.

This is the face she makes when we don't let her look at each rock...individually...and put them in her mouth.

Richard and I are horrible at guessing ages. Most of the time when we see young people hiking we play the "high school or not in high school" game. But here is just an excerpt from some of the conversations we overheard at the top.

*proposed tax on soda in the upcoming Washington elections (which I happen to agree with) *social security taxes

*a friend definitely should not have worn a white dress to their homecoming dance. It was so fancy that it looked like a wedding dress

* avocados are gross if they are too ripe...

*avocados are also really gross if they are not ripe enough

*did you know avocados last longer if they are kept in the fridge

*grapes are also really gross if they are too ripe

So, lots of fun!

Smrat like me

Today I kept thinking of a story about my sister Katie...

In her box of doodads and memorabilia from her childhood, exists a short paper she must have written for a first or second grade class. It goes:

"I am smrat!
And my mom is smrat,
and my dad is smrat,
and all my brothers and sisters
are smrat like me."

And I think the reason why I kept thinking of this particular piece of kid prose, is that I still feel like that...

I am forever trying to convince everyone-- myself, my husband, my family and friends, that I really am intelligent. That even though there are many moms out there that become moms by default...and there are some that are teenagers, and some that are negligent, and some that use their kids as pawns to get more government welfare...
that I still CHOSE this. I chose Anna. And the work I have chosen to do wouldn't garner more than minimum wage in most of the world.
And even though I have forgotten much of what I learned in school, and the times I get a jeopardy question right are few and far between and mostly in the areas of pop culture, and the most academic thing I do most days is read to my daughter and figure out a strategic grocery shopping route...
I still have a doctorate degree...darn it! And I demand respect! Because I... AM... SMRAT!

The other half of the proverb

The way to a man's heart might be through his stomach, but it is certainly the way to this woman's heart as well!
I knew I was getting a tall man when I married Richard...I knew I was getting an intelligent one. I knew I was getting one that had at times been mistaken for Bill Clinton in the southern regions of Argentina.....
but I did not know I was also getting a chef in the bargain.

I use cookbooks and websites and television channells....
Richard uses his imagination and creativity and ingenuity

I follow directions....
Richard follows his stomach

I make casseroles....
Richard makes art! (you could hang his meals up in the MOMA-- but not the Louvre-- too modern)

What you are looking at is salmon in a chipotle tomato ragout with potatoes two ways (mashed potatoes and crispy potato skins) and asparagus.

There is a reason why every one of our dates includes food of some sort. Beyond shared religious beliefs and life perspective, a shared LOVE and PASSION for food was probably the most important thing I could find in a spouse.

A trip to the fire station

So I am a part of probably the world's coolest mommies' groups ever (I took a straw poll, and we totally came out on top-- edging out the Kardashians and Teen Moms). We took a trip to the fire station and my inner child was tickled pink. It made me want to be a fireman (fireperson, firewoman?) because they are so awesome...and helpful....and they LOOK like fireman and they give stickers and stuff.

Was it a surprise that the adults were asking most of the questions? And I am not embarrassed to admit that when all the kids had taken their turn sitting in the cab of the firetruck, that I snuck in as well!

Here are a few pics taken with my cell phone, and one from my friend Monica (voted coolest art historian mom in the same straw poll).

This just gives you a nice scale for the large awesomeness of the firetruck. I highly recommend the firestation tour for FHE's, date night, and any time you want to indulge your inner child!

Invest in....

Richard gets the Wall Street Journal, and so occasionally I read the "weekend" section, or the "health" section. And occasionally, I come across absurd advertisements like this one.

A picture of a woman wearing what I can only assume are very expensive clothes and the tagline "Invest in Luxury"

I was so entertained that I texted the picture to Richard with the message "I figured out what we can invest in. The Wall Street Journal helped me out!"

Richard wrote back "pornography? the resolution on my phone isn't very good, but that is what it looks like." When I told him what the picture and tagline were, he responded "If luxury is an investment, America's balance sheet is thriving!"

Personally, I can think a few better taglines for the advertisement:

"A blouse...for the woman who has a thousand blouses..."

"Because you never know when there will be another French Revolution"

"The Real Housewives of Donald Trump-- A new series"

Can you think of some good taglines?

Proof that Anna is not the center of our world.

Just kidding. She totally is. As much as we are trying to help her have a balanced sense of perspective, we can't help it. Why take pictures of anything else when you have something as cute as that around. So we take any opportunity to take, and have pictures taken of, Anna. We had our friend Ruth take some pictures of her just after her first birthday. She doesn't pose well, so all photos have to be taken covertly, using some of her "friends" (aka, her favorite toy of the moment) to distract her.

Mother Theresa, eat your heart out! There has never been a more innocent or pure face. Unfortunately, as she becomes more conniving and mischievous, that face makes a perfect cover for her true intentions-- getting as many graham crackers and goldfish as she can.
I don't know what she is looking at, but she has a singleness of mind and focus that would make Gandhi jealous.

the days of helping her walk are now in the past. Now I long for those days of limited mobility. Of course, Richard is convinced that in the future one of us will invent time travel. He still looks for himself to come and visit himself. But it may just well be Anna who take the quantum leap.
this was the friend of the moment, which also happened to be one of Richard's toys when he was little. Just a plastic man without arms or legs-- a peg man. She had to have him in sight the whole time. The best toys are often the most simple.
But the bestest toys are the books. We get most of our books from Goodwill these days. Not only are they only .79, but Anna can tare them apart if she wants (and she always wants). Anything with moving parts is fair game to pried, ripped, torn, bent, or eaten off. Someday she will take care of her books, but until then-- we let her go wild. The book pictured above is no longer with us... in one piece.

Anna usually does not allow me to put anything in her hair. She has a sixth sense about it. Even if I trick her and stick the barrette in when she is not looking, she takes it out a few minutes later. But as her hair grows increasingly unruly and hangs in her face, I have started threatening her that I will cut her hair unless she lets me clip it back.
The monkey walk.
If only life could be this exciting for everyone! Anna gets this excited around ducks, dogs, playgrounds, birds, bananas, candy corn/raisinettes/cookies, and Baby signing time.

oh, and when her parents make a fool of themselves trying to make her laugh (a new talent).