SANTA!!! I kissed SANTA

Yes, I have a confession to make....I am Mrs. Clause!

Richard was asked to play Santa at our ward Christmas party. Everyone raved he was the best Santa ever. And of course, after an hour and a half of kids approaching him throughout the night, he had some great stories to tell.
Hopefully, Anna is not thinking "I can't believe mom is cheating on Dad!"

Probably the only costume in the world that is made to be worn by large, strapping man like Richard...all except the boots which are black leather covers to be worn over your shoes. If you look closely, you will realize that no make-believe boot was meant to cover size 14 feet. Richard resorted to wearing black socks with the boot covers just sitting on top of his feet. Hopefully, no one was looking down!
Richard had never been a kid or baby person until we had Anna. He loved playing Santa though and after the night was over just kept saying "those kids are so stinkin' cute!" Some of the more precocious children followed him around quizzing him on the names of the reindeer, the names of the elves, who was the shortest elf and what his height was (Apparently a elf named Jake at 2 feet 7 inches tall). Luckily, Richard studied the afternoon before and had answers ready to all their questions.
The most touching moment came from an autistic boy in the ward. It took him about 15-20 minutes to come up to Santa. He kept inching ever closer, keeping watch for his parents nearby. He really wanted to talk to Santa but I could tell it was very hard for him. Richard just spoke to him softly, never pressuring him to sit on his knee, and finally, when this boy came close enough to tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas, this is what he said:

"Mr. Santa Clause, my grandpa died a little while ago, and I really miss him, so when you go back to the North Pole and when you get to heaven, could you just tell him Hello for me and that I love him. I really miss my Grandpa."

Richard just told him "I will do that!"
The highlight of the evening was probably when Anna sat on Santa's lap. I don't know whether she was fooled because as soon as Richard had ahold of her, she grabbed his beard in a vice grip and wouldn't let go.

Afterword: The next day was Sunday. After Sacrament meeting one of the mothers in the ward came up to Richard and told him good-naturedly that he had apparently promised her 6-year old a baby chiuwawa.

Lets hope that next Christmas there is a repeat performance!

Parenting a different way

As a preface, let me disclose that I have read almost every well-known parenting book out there, or at least 6 of them. I have talked to friends, family members, and health care professionals. I have consulted online resources....and after months of searching, I have finally figured out the right way to parent.

It is the Lord's way!

Let me explain.

I like instructions. I like it when someone tells me what to do in an unfamiliar situation. Everything about motherhood is unfamiliar, and because I knew a little person was relying on me to take care of them, I wanted to be exceptional at it. I am good at studying, so I studied. I read. I listened to other mothers, and I practiced. Sometimes the things in the books went contrary to every instinct I had. Sometimes the parenting practices made sense. Sometimes they worked, and when they didn't work, I tried to force them to work -- assuming that I was doing something wrong (because after all, they worked in the book and they had worked for other people, so the fault had to have been mine).

Sometimes Anna would look at me like she didn't understand (at times I imagined accusation in that look as well) when I would let her cry for an hour, telling myself that it had been only two hours since she had eaten, and she wouldn't be due for a feeding until a certain time in the future, or that she needed to learn how to sleep on her own. I was following the methods because I believed in the outcome (i.e., a happy, healthy baby). However, I was failing to take into account the most important factor: Anna

Anna is unique, as are all babies. They don't weigh the same, measure the same, look the same, act the same...so I don't know why I assumed that one uniform approach to parenting would work with all babies, including my own wonderful child. The more I tried to make myself and my daughter fit the mold, the more unsatisfied we both were. There were days when my nerves were shot and I would go back to the books over and over again, looking for "the answer" to how I should handle certain situations or how Anna and I should be acting.

Then one day, I found the answer, and I found it in the scriptures!

In the Book of Mormon, in First Nephi, the Lord instructs Nephi to build a boat. In chapter 17, I read:

"...And the Lord did show me from time to time after what manner I should work the timbers of the ship. Now I, Nephi, did not work the timbers after the manner which was learned by men, neither did I build the ship after the manner of men; but I did build it after the manner which the Lord had shown unto me; wherefore it was not after the manner of men."

And I realized that if anyone could instruct me as to how I should raise my daughter, it would be my Father in Heaven. He, as a perfect parent, could show me how to serve and raise my daughter...which would sometimes NOT be after the manner of men. The Lord knows me and my capabilities, and most importantly, He knows my daughter and what her needs are.

I have learned some good things from the books and the people around me, but I don't consult the books anymore (besides, they just make me feel guilty). Instead, I try to let the Holy Spirit and my daughter be my guide (with a little input from our pediatrician of course). The books had suggested that I should be feeding around every three hours and I was trying to limit her nursing periods to thirty minutes. I was also trying to move her toward not eating in the middle of the night. But Anna's weight had been steadily dropping off until at our last visit she was only in the 5th to 10th percentile for weight (yet still in the 90th percentile for height). At her 4 month appointment, the doctor suggested, and I readily agreed, that I feed her more often to help her put more weight on.

Now I feed her whenever I want (Anna has never turned down an opportunity for nursing). I feed her when she wakes up and I feed her before she goes back to sleep. And I don't have to worry about "sleeping through the night" anymore because I know that she needs more nutrition than the "average" baby. She has already visibly gained some weight, and looks so much more healthy and happy. And incredibly, she now naps better than ever. And oddly enough, I have more control over when she naps. And she still goes to sleep on her own both for naps and at night because she is always awake when I put her in her crib. She and I are both so much happier!! She almost never cries anymore. She really was hungry!!

I wish I had trusted myself more. I wish I had consulted the Lord more than I did the books, and I wish I had really just considered what my daughter's unique needs were.

Thanksgiving weekend

Thanksgiving weekend was a success...as long as you were a BYU fan that is.

This was my first Thanksgiving as a host. Richard's mom came up from Colorado to spend the day with us. I am always a little intimidated by her...she is a very good mom and I can't think of anyone who has sacrificed more for her kids, so my mom insecurities always flare up a little around her. I find myself whispering to Anna "please don't cry...we want Grandma to think I am good at this!"

Nonetheless, I have much to be grateful for this holiday:

I am grateful first for life and love and happiness. I know we all go through heartaches, but it makes the happy times that much sweeter and deserved. Sunlight and seasons remind me that after each storm comes a spring and a renewing. I am thankful for a husband who still thinks I am pretty on the days I don't shower (and they happen folks!) and who thinks all my eccentricities (and there are many of them) are merely "cute"
I am grateful for this little person. Now that I am a mom of an individual, I know that babies are not just babies, they really are people-- endowed with rights, opinions, and habits. My little girl has a personality all her own. I once called up my mom, complaining that Anna was supposed to be like me, but that instead she was willful....it took my mom a half a second to point out that I was willful too!
I am grateful for Anna's mohawk as well!
I am grateful for food. I always have been, and I always will be! I planned out our Thanksgiving menu for weeks and this was the result:
"Good Eats" Thanksgiving turkey (complete with brining the night before)
stuffing
mashed potatoes
roasted sweet potatoes
wild rice salad
braised mushrooms and peas
homemade crescent rolls (Richard made this.....HOMEMADE!!!)
pumpkin pie, and...
caramelized apple cheesecake with spiced creme anglaise and butterscotch sauce (not shown)

I am grateful that my mom instilled in me a love of left-overs, of which there are no longer any!
Richard's sister Christy got us a University of Utah onsie which we pulled out for the big game on Saturday. Richard listened to it on the computer. When the Utes were winning Richard almost had me take it off of Anna, saying that she was giving them good luck, but then BYU ended up winning anyway.
I am grateful for the AWESOME education I got at both schools. And I will remain a dual fan, my whole life!

Reasons to move to Seattle #1

As soon as we knew we were going to move to Seattle, everyone was full of advice:
get an umbrella, get galoshes, get anti-depressants, wear your raincoat to bed so you save time getting dressed in the morning....

everyone had HEARD about how wet and grey it is in Seattle (probably from watching Sleepless in Seattle one too many times), but nobody had actually lived there.

When we lived here last summer, it was beautiful, but everyone still told us that we were just enjoying a brief respite from the rain and that soon the torrential downpour would descend and along with it our hopes and dreams of ever being happy again (okay, so that was just a slight exaggeration)

my hypothesis is that the first people who moved to Seattle (probably sometime in the 1970's I think) realized how great it was in Seattle, and how gorgeous, and nice and temperate, and how good the fish is, and how beautiful the mountains and forests....and they realized that soon Seattle would be overrun by people immigrating from North Dakota and Wisconsin and they began perpetuating the myth that Seattle had horrible weather to keep people at bay....

that is my reasoned, intelligent hypothesis! But through the scientific method, and going outside, I have finally discovered the truth! Seattle is beautiful! So come and move here...please!
we found this park (one of about a million (no exaggeration)) to go to the day after Thanksgiving. The grass is still so green and most of the trees still have their leaves on (and yes, I realize that most of the trees in this picture are coniferous and never lose their leaves, but I am also referring to the deciduous ones as well!)
does your apartment lack a swimming pool? No worries, there are a thousand swimming holes throughout seattle that are open to the public....and no sharks or chlorine to worry about!
See, there is such a thing as blue skies in Seattle. And you thought they were more rare than a UFO sighting.
Can you see yourself living here too? We could sip Mai-Tais on the pier and just go up and down the Space Needle all day-- that is what everyone who lives in Seattle does

you want to come here....
you won't be happy until you come here...
the very future of your family depends upon it....

well, if you don't want to live here, at least come and visit!

Happy Thanksgiving

The Roses Mini Vacation

Richard took this week off of work, so we decided to go on vacation to Seattle.....
no hotels, no eating out, but lots of time together. Anna is going to be little for only a short time, and I guess Richard just got a little jealous of all the time I get to spend with her during the day. Usually he gets just a little teaser of her in the morning (at her most adorable) and then has to run to catch the bus to work. This week Richard was so excited to spend the whole day, every day, with his daughter. In fact, every day Richard tells Anna (as she giggles at us from her crib) "guess what-- Daddy doesn't have to leave you today!"

Our first stop was to explore some of the Cascade mountains. We hiked "Little Si" a 5 miles and 1400 vertical feet. It was awesome. For those of you who are "Twilight" fans, the mountain forest we hiked through looked exactly like the forest that Edwards whisks Bella through. I half expected vampires, wolves, or elf sprites to jump out at us. In fact, at one point, Richard walked up beside me and said "you know what I am.....say it!" To which I responded "you're a nerd is what you are!" I love my husband!

This is a view from the top!
Didn't I tell you this forest looked enchanted!
Edward has nothin' on Richard. I choose my living, funny, brilliant Richard any day!
Anna has the greatest expressions. I can't wait for her to talk. I don't know what her face is saying in the photo below...but I am sure it is profound! She can say anything with her eyes!

Ol' blue eyes!
This is my favorite picture of Anna. She's my friend!
Whenever I have a hard day with Anna, I am just going to watch this video. I think I would go through any kind of hardship, walk across hot coals, drink spoiled milk, watch endless Charlie Chaplin movies (which Richard has been renting as a part of his quest to watch the top 100 movies of all time) to hear this little girl laugh!

For Christy

We took some photos of Anna sleeping. We took video of her waking up. It is very difficult to capture Anna in her natural element because she is fascinated by the camera. You will notice in the videos the point where she sees the camera.

One Good Friend

Richard and I had the honor and pleasure of spending a week with the Morgan family, comprised of Ryan, Laura, baby Kate (because you have to say baby Kate), and little Robbie. We were friends in Provo and then they moved to Portland while we moved to Seattle. Work brought Ryan to the city this past week, and much to our delight, his family tagged along for a little vacation in the Emerald city. Visiting with Laura and their kids taught me that although I can live just about anywhere, having even one good friend close by makes all the difference. I am happy living in Seattle. Its far from depressing here (in fact, I really really like it) and I love exploring the forests with Anna and going to the library or going downtown to meet Richard, or buying spices at Pike's market and trying new foods. But the one thing I really miss...is having a good woman nearby to talk to and laugh with and confide in. Luckily, I can be patient, and in the mean time, I just talk to Anna about everything-- she is a great listener, but gets distracted often...by things like windows, lights, open doors, television, or anything that moves

This is the whole Morgan family. Little Robbie is already as heavy as Anna and he was born almost two months after her. What great people. Portland is definitely lucky!


This is baby Kate! She is fantastically smart! She recited a poem for Richard and I called "Bananas" after much cajoling and the promise of a fruit Newton from her father. Her performance was epoch and included words like Souvlaki and Falafel-- words I hadn't heard of until halfway through my college career. I would definitely put her on "America's Got Talent"

I thought you would enjoy this picture of me-- I thought it would make everyone feel better about their own somewhat unphotogenic moments.

Laura is one of the most amazing women and moms I have ever met. After just a few days with her around her kids, I have already vowed to be a better mother!

a literary allusion

My daughter is a turtle

Anna's Exercise Regime

I remember women in church on sundays blissfully reporting that their child had learned to roll over. What they probably do not report, is that babies don't learn the whole thing all at once. Babies don't just do a 360 degrees roll to the applause of their adoring fanclub. I have been eagerly anticipating Anna's first "roll" only when it came, it was only a half roll, only in one direction. For days I found my daughter crying in frustration at the end of naptime because she had rolled onto her stomach and she couldn't get back. It didn't help that she had usually pinned herself against the sides of the crib and had her arm or leg dangling out of the slats (which is why I finally got a bumper).

Of course Anna and I took it all in stride. We structured a work out routine that was aimed to get Anna capable of rolling herself back over when she found herself stuck on her stomach.

If I could have the theme from Rocky playing at this point, I would. Anna and I take her exercise time very seriously. It basically consists of tummy time, a lot of cheering on from mommy and a little nudge now and then to get her used to the roll


jf

check out that look of determination! She's got the "eye of the tiger" (Growl!)

Life's lessons

One of my favorite hymns is "Lord, I would follow thee."

I especially like the second verse:

"Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly..
In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see."

It reminds me that there is so much about people that we don't know. To a certain extent, we all try to show our best and brightest side to the world. That can be pretty unfair when we start making comparisons. There have been times when I have wanted someone else's life or some component of it...when I have passesd judgment by concluding that their life has been easier than mine or they have been blessed more abundantly. Oh how I have been humbled.

When Anna was just a few weeks old, a family member of mine lost the twin boys she was carrying. I had the opportunity of attending the funeral and witnessing such an outpouring of faith and hope and love that I had never seen before. There was no anger, no bitterness...
I watched as some of my little nieces and nephews crowded around the little white box that held the two tiny babies. They would pat it gently, even reverently. This mother sat with them, holding them and answering their question about her sons. She talked about the hope of seeing her children again, of being worthy to be with them into the eternities...

My husband and I and our new baby daughter stood apart...not sure if our presence there would be a painful reminder of what these parents had lost. Later that weekend, I had a chance to sit down with this young mother while she told me about her experiences holding her sons in the hospital. She showed me the remembrance boxes that had been prepared for each one. And then she asked if she could hold Anna...

I am humbled by the example of those who have experienced untold suffering and have yet drawn closer to God. I am humbled to find that so often those people that I dismissesd as fortunate and blessed have already gone through their own personal Gesthamanes or are quietly going through them now.

I am reading "Man's search for meaning" by Victor Frankl, a survivor of the Nazi concentration camps, and in one passage he states:

"WE had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us...Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks that it constantly sets for each individual...

No man and no destiny can be compared with any other man or any other destiny. No situation repeats itself, and each situation calls for a different response...
Sometimes man may be required simply to accept fate, to bear his cross.

When man finds that it is his destiny to suffer, he will have to accept his suffering as his task; his single and unique task...His unique opportunity lies in the way in which he bears his burden."

However, Victor Frankl also concludes that "He will have to acknowledge the fact that even in suffering he is unique and alone in the universe. No one can relieve him of his suffering or suffer in his place."

It is this last point to which I disagree. Although no other person can live our lives for us, or spare us these painful experiences, I do believe that God never meant for us to suffer through them alone. I am so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that we can find relief from suffering. I know that Jesus Christ did suffer in our place, long ago, so that while it was necessary for us to experience pain in mortality, that we would not have to do so alone.

And while I may never know the extent to which the people around me have experienced their own unique sorrow, I know that God does. I hope He can help me to see other people as He sees them.

Happy Halloween!

Halloween was a raging success! This is a picture of the family at the ward Halloween party. Richard dressed up as the "man in black," Anna was a pumpkin, and I was a birthday present! The ward party included chili and cornbread. The chili I made was awesome (I know, I'm humble)-- it disappeared in minutes!
I have been impressed with all my friends who have made their children's costumes this year. Richard asked me if I would make Anna's costumes in the future. I told him "sure, as long as it involves a box......she can be a dice, a T.V., a rubicks cube, a traffic light, or a computer." (as you can see, all the moving boxes we have kept worked well for me this year)

Both of our pumkins
Anna was a hit at Richard's office Halloween party. All the cubicles and offices had candy for the trick or treating kids. Even though Anna doesn't have teeth yet and actually slept through much of the office trick or treating, I still made sure she got all the candy possible. I also took the liberty of addressing her candy preferences. "Anna likes Kit Kats, Reeses peanut butter cups, Sour Patch Kids, and Junior Mints..."
I had to take the opportunity to photograph this Japanese Maple tree outside of our local library. Autumn is beautiful in the Northwest
And of course, you have to take the obligatory picture of the Space Needle as you drive by...
We went to the neighborhood of Queene Anne where all the business proprietors stand outside their storefronts passing out candy to the trick or treating kids. As a result, families from all over Seattle come to this area (I wish they had something like that when I was a kid-- it is a most efficient way of getting the most candy possible with the smallest amount of effort). It was also combined with a farmers market that was quaint and reminded me of my favorite parts of the summer and autumn. We had a blast looking at all the great costumes and sampling candy, hot chocolate, and even pizza.
This was by far our favorite costume: the man in the yellow hat with curious george!
We had to take a picture of this rolling iron pig-mobile. As you can guess, it produces pulled pork sandwhiches. we decided to go for the Korean tacos below!

Anna spent Halloween sleeping. Surprise, surprise! Now that she is doing so much better falling asleep on her own, I actually enjoyed having fall asleep on my chest as we were out and about!

Bathtime revisited

If you compare these pictures to our first set of bathtime pictures, you will see a remarkable contrast in baby contentment. On the advice of a seasoned mother, we have always bathed Anna by first wrapping her in a receiving blanket and then lowering her down into the water, and just "unwrapping" a portion of her at a time to bathe her. That way, she always felt like she was nice and secure and wrapped up. She now enjoys bath time-- especially since Richard is the one who primarily bathes her and he is always able to make her laugh!








I have to say, I love her widow's peak. Neither Richard or I have this particular feature (though I hear it stands for wisdom), but it caps off her perfect heart-shaped face. Lets hope it doesn't also mean that she will also be that cute little girl with the curl right in the middle of her forehead, and when she was good, she was very very good, but when she was bad....