Tulip Festival-- Happy Day!

The tulip festival makes everyone feel like they are 21 months old. The sunshine, the colors, the endless fields of flowers...
This is actually a picture of me between Richard and his mom (Anna must have been taking the picture).
The day we went was a perfect day in the midst of weeks of rain. We got 70 degree weather, and nobody knew what to do. Wal-mart actually ran out of sunblock....
the festival also makes amateur photographers like me seem like good amateur photographers...
The tulips were huge. I am standing in the lower left hand corner of the above picture...you can't see me because I am obscurred by the shadow of a leaf.
our little rose...
the big rose.
the best way to experience a tulip...is to try to eat it!
a sweet moment between Anna and her daddy.

its actually pretty hard to tiptoe through the tulips up here. They have security guards at every turn. Here, Anna is trying to evade the authorities by blending in...
and I am pretty sure I am going to have to blow this picture up to monstrous proportions and wrap it around our entire house!
Anna is literally running with her arms raised in triumphant happiness. A perfect day.
Anna just had to check to make sure each tulip did in fact smell the same.
I think this one actually started eating her face....

no perfect day would be complete without a ride on daddy's shoulders

"I think I dropped a fruit snack over here...oh, here it is!"
Anna doesn't play for any camera.
There has been so much rain lately, and it continues on...
but days like Saturday are a brief glimpse and reminder of God's love. I am so glad he has such a colorful pallette!

Happy, Happy, Happy...that is what I am!

Easter Morn!

Just some gratuitous pictures of Anna and Easter celebrations! We started a few new traditions in our family this year. The first, is to have Karate West sponsor our home Easter egg hunt (notice balloon logo). Once Anna got this balloon earlier in the day on Saturday, she never let it out of her sight. We had to strongly persuade her not to bring the balloon to bed with her and it was there for her the next morning when she woke up.
WE have been training Anna like a professional athlete for her first big Easter egg hunt. Practice hunts, sometimes four a day, were a normal part of her daily routine. By the time Easter weekend came, she was a lean, mean, egg-hunting machine with a thirst for pastel colors.
Anna loved to pick up each egg and shake it near her ear. Halfway through the hunt one of her eggs broke open, spilling forth its treasure of jelly beans. And that was the end of the hunt. She spent the next ten minutes shoveling sugary goodness into her mouth and completely lost interest in the rest of the hidden eggs.
Easter morning was fun. The Easter bunny had an affinity for polo shirts this year.
In addition to her dress, the Easter bunny left Anna a note and a half-eaten carrot. The note read:
"Dear Anna, Thank you for being such a good girl this year. You are so loving and nice to your family. I hope you have your best Easter ever! Enjoy church. I brought you a dress that you can wear. Its important that you think about Jesus today. He is the one that makes everything beautiful and happy. I have a few more surprises for you, but you have to wait until after church. Thanks for the carrots! -- E. Bunny"
I love Easter. And its so much more fun now that I have a kid.
And of course, candy is flowing like water in our house.
I have sworn off sweets during the week....
but luckily, Easter falls on a Sunday EVERY year!
Anna had rounds 1 and 2 of Easter basket-ness. Richard and I can't seem to control ourselves when it comes to Anna. She got a bunch of books, a pink ball, a stuffed froggy, some duck bubbles, and fruit snacks. And of course the EAster dress, which I DID NOT make (and which Anna is standing on in this picture).
Happy Easter!

Today I will not...

Today I will not be intimated by women who can make their own clothes...

Today I will not resent other mothers who make adorable little crafts for their kids for each holiday...

Today I will not be jealous of women who have bigger houses, more fashionable furniture, or newer clothes...

Today I will not measure my self-esteem by the number of blog comments I get or followers I have...

Today I will not let Facebook determine my worth...

Today I will not look for fault in other women because it makes me feel better about my own weaknesses...

Today I will be genuinely excited for the success of someone else...

Today I will decide to learn from someone more talented than me...

Today I will be more concerned about the well-being of those around me...

Today I will be okay with the path I have chosen, and the person I am, and the talents I have been given...

Today I choose not to be in competition with anyone else. Today, I live side by side with each of you.

My moral dillema

So, I have been training for a marathon.

A marathon I have not registered for (its $130 people!!).

And when people would ask if I was registered, I would simply tell them about how I was going to buy a race number from a person who could no longer run the race (because there are always drop-outs, or things that happen to prevent people from running....like laziness!). My plan was to do the training, and then a week before the race I would look on Craigslist for someone selling their race number. In fact, I told myself that I was actually doing a good deed because the marathon does not refund anything if you choose not to run or cannot run the day of the race (but they will send you the T-shirt--- they are that giving), and I figured I was only helping some poor soul to recoup some of their losses (some, not all, because I was only going to offer about half price).

And I felt that this was a step up from my prior plan-- to bandit run the race. You see, last year when I ran the half, I scoped out the place and realized that there is no security on race day to make sure that only registered runners are involved in the race. There is very little order at all actually, at the starting line. IT would be a perfect race to bandit run (what I call just showing up on race day and running with registered runners-- they are public streets after all, and I would only be costing the city $1 in gatorade).

So my plan had become what I call "proxy running." I was running on behalf of someone else, someone who couldn't run. I was merely running in the place that they had already reserved. Just like a season ticket holder who lets you use their seats for a specific performance. I figured that there was no harm done. Seattle was planning on one person running with that race number, and one person would. And I was planning on paying for the benefit, so I wasn't taking anything for free.

I was going to be soooo good! I practically felt holy for all my goodness.

But then someone told me that what I was planning on doing was potentially unethical, and perhaps could be considered dishonest. So I looked up on the race website, and in very clear English (obviously not written by a lawyer), it said that all race numbers were non-transferable, and could not be sold or given away, and that any person who did sell or give away their number could be banned from running these marathons for up to three years. Now, how they would find out about it, I don't know, but the fact was I now had knowledge. I knew that it was against the rules. I knew that at least on paper, there were repercussions.

and it began to fester inside me. I began envisioning being struck by lightening at mile 20 on the day of the race. I imagined being escorted off the course by an armed guard, hired to catch dishonest runners. I imagined breaking my foot. It even occurred to me (horror of horrors) that I might not find anyone to sell me their number, and I would be left to not participate (although, it did occur to me that Richard and I could have figured out a 26 mile course around seattle and set up gatorades every 2 miles and I could have ran a marathon for about $8-- but that takes away all the fun of running a race).

It continued to fester. So I talked to a friend, and she made what I considered to be the most cutting point of all. She basically helped me to see that I just didn't want to pay the same amount for the marathon as everyone else. Because there was still time to register. I just wanted a better deal. She said it would be different if the opportunity to register was no longer there, but it was, and I was just being cheap. She actually said it much more eloquently than that, but I could see her point. Because she was one of those who was already registered and thus had paid the full price for the marathon.

it also made me feel like a vulture...waiting around for a runner to quit or drop-out or fail in their training. Yuck! Not very appealing.

so, I did it. I registered. I'm honest!

And you will see me cross the finish line, officially, on June 25, 2011.

phone pic stories volume 1: It was....the Koala!

Some of the most unusual, interesting Anna stories occur when I am not there, and it is just Anna and daddy. I really think that she benefits from that time alone with Richard, and there are always good stories when I get back home. This is one of my favorites, I hope I do it justice.

Anna and Richard were playing on our bed with all the bears-- the BYU bear, the Koala bear, the pink bear, the snuggly bear, the tiny bear, and Big Bear. I assume they were all having some tent time, when Anna suddenly announced "Poo Poo Doo?"

Now, usually this indicates that Anna has a poopy diaper, but this time, Anna had something different in mind. She began methodically checking each bear's bottom for a "poo poo doo."
Being the thorough and dedicated girl that she is, she also felt it necessary to check Richard's bottom. He was clean, apparently. After checking all the bear's bottoms, she came back to the Koala bear, and deciding that he was the offending one, took him promptly to our bathroom where...
she sat him on the toilet!
Does this signal the beginning of the long road toward potty-training?
Probably not. But it sure is a great story!!

Families by the numbers

A neighbor of mine asked me today "so, are you guys planning on having another kid soon? You guys are Mormons so I know that means you are going to have a big family!"

and that got me thinking...

Big families scare me....

I know what you are thinking-- "but Rachael, you come from a big family!"

and I reiterate, big families scare me! To this day, whenever my family gets together, I mean really gets together, all of us, I have to retreat to my bedroom every couple hours or so to recuperate and breathe before I can go back in to the chaos.

Richard has only one sibling, so you can imagine we have had some interesting conversation when it comes to our family planning. And while many people like to duplicate the kind of family situation they come from, it has been me primarily that is scared of having "too" many children.

How many is "too" many? I really don't know that there is an approximate number. I have seen families that have many children and all the siblings seem to love each other, and they all get along and everyone seems to get the attention they need and they can't imagine anything better than their own family.

And then I have seen other people for whom one child was probably too many...

I think everyone has different capabilities. I also think that God is as much concerned with our happiness as parents as he is that our children are happy and born into loving homes. Maybe I am naive in thinking that parenting should be enjoyable. And I think it is enjoyable, as long as you know your own capacity to parent. And if you can have a dozen and give them all love and attention and care-- then I applaud you and I support you and I hope your kids are friends with my kids. But I also think it is okay to have a small family. Not all Mormons have big families. And while families are a part of God's plan for us, there is no mandate as to number.

I have friends who had their first babies around the same time as me, and now they are close to having their seconds...and I can't help but feel that I am still not quite ready to add to our family. I am really enjoying this time with Anna, and it will never be this way again-- just the three of us. And perhaps a part of it, is that I wish I had had this same kind of time with my own parents.

I feel like every family has their own timing...every child has their own timing. And the goal, as always, is to find happiness in your own home.

And I am happy.

A growing girl

Anna is growing so fast. She is a little person with quirks and opinions, and believe me, she asserts them (quite adamantly I might add). She still doesn't give a hoot for cameras. I feel like I am a National Geographic wildlife photographer, camouflaged and stalking my subject.
I wish I knew what she was thinking. Because she is thinking all the time. I can practically sees those little wheels turning blindingly fast in her head.

she has started dressing herself, or at least trying. She successfully lets me know what she wants to wear (actually, she is better at telling me what she DOES NOT want to wear, and by process of elimination, we are left with everything pink), but she still needs some work at putting them on herself. She often tries to put the pants on over her head or she tries to put her legs into the arm holes.
I remember promising myself that my children would never be embarassed by their hair or hairstyle...and yet, I can't help but put her hair into a "Who-ville" like ponytail on top of her head nearly every day. Moms get to get away with all sorts of stuff. And I think she looks cute....
Anna's current mode of transportation

I caught Anna with my lip gloss today. She refused to give it back. She kept trying to get it on her lips, but kept missing. Probably had a date later on. It makes me realize that she really does watch me. Unless all women are born with an innate desire to paint their lips with sticky gloss and thus recognize exactly what to do with a colorful tube found in a diaper bag.
probably having second thoughts about the color choice...(should have gone with the coral-- it would have better matched the orange onesie).
this picture is to show how long Anna's hair is when it is wet, just after a bath. I actually have to work out the snarls in her hair after days of her curls matting and getting stuck together with the bits of food that find their way into her wild mane.
and this is what happens after it dries....
nothing but curls!
update on her development:

she can count to 4, and often says the rest of the numbers through 10-- just not in sequence.
she still loves reading more than anything else.
she will eat almost anything if we provide her with a dipping sauce
her favorite activity is dancing on our bed while her daddy plays the guitar
she has learned how to take her pajamas off. I often find her naked in the morning.
She lets me know when she has a poopy diaper by saying "poo pa doo"
She loves the alphabet-- especially the letter "W." She likes it when I wear my BYU LAW sweatshirt because she can point it out.
On walks she likes to pause at each car and point out the numbers and letters on the license plates.
Her most used word-- "again"
She likes to rub lotion on her feet. And she loves hand soap.
The only thing that will get her out of the bathtub, is the promise that she can play on the bed.
Everything has the potential to be a hat with Anna.
She loves phones and will say both "Hello" and "Goodbye" (before hanging up the phone by placing it on her head-- as a hat).

Try to Remember

I think that a lot of the time I take being a mom for granted. My life settles into a routine of taking care of Anna and getting my "chores" done. I find myself sometimes groaning when I hear her begin to stir in her bedroom, signaling that her nap is over. And there are some days when I realize that all I have done is just filled in the time until she goes to bed....

But sometimes I really get it....
that I have been given an incredible gift (even if I don't always appreciate it). And I can only hope that I get to keep that gift for as long as possible.

In those moments, I try to remember everything about my daughter, about being her mom-- what her hair smells like after a bath, the way she squeals when she is being chased, the way she pulls on her hair as she is falling asleep, how she grabs my hand when she wants to show me something, and the look on her face when I come into her room in the morning. No one has ever loved me like that.

That is when I linger an extra few minutes in her room when I am putting her to bed. I take my time rocking her to sleep so I can stroke her hair and listen to her breathe. Sometimes she goes right to sleep in my arms, but sometimes she looks back at me, and I try to remember that too-- that look of absolute trust. And so I whisper "I love you." I want her last waking thought to be how much her mommy loves her.

so yeah, I take it for granted sometimes...
but other times, I really get it. Like today.