Connecting with Apollo

One of the most special experiences I had this last weekend while I was in St. George and running the marathon, was with my nephew Apollo.
Apollo has autism and is 7 years old.  I have lived in a different city or state from him his whole life and have not had a lot of opportunity to interact with him.  The times that I do have the opportunity, I  feel incompetent and inadequate at understanding and responding to his special needs.  I don't feel capable of communicating with him and so to a certain extent I have kept him at a distance and allowed other family members to be the ones to actively love him.

I know that is pretty poor of me. 
I often get afraid of the things I don't know or understand.  Its easier to stay in safe areas where I can predict the results of my efforts and people act in normal proscribed ways.   With children especially.  I love my own children, I tolerate other people's normal children, and I stay away from the hard cases.  I don't really like this about myself.

This weekend, I had a breakthrough. 

I like to make smoothies.  Especially the chocolate banana kind. With ice.  And spinach if I am feeling especially healthy.  I started making a smoothie this weekend and I noticed that Apollo was watching me.  He had his hands over his ears and he was intently following my hand movements and watching the whirl of the machine as it blended everything together.  The blender had three settings-- "1, 2, and 3."  He liked it when it was on 1.  He did not like it when it was on 2 or 3 (especially 3).  After I made my first smoothie, he took my hand and placed it back on the machine and said "turn it to number 1!"
Luckily, the first smoothie I made completely sucked!  I made it with a mixture of kale and chard and they had a really strong flavor that completely ovewhelmed my beloved chocolate and banana.  So, I had to make another.  This time, I got Apollo involved.  I let him add each ingredient.  I let him scoop the ice.  He put on the lid.  But I had to be the one to turn it to "number 1"-- Apollo needed his hands to cover his ears.  We made two or three smoothies on that first day. And then we used soap and water and just whirled it around to clean out the machine.  The next day we made more smoothies.

I had never really touched Apollo before or had a conversation with him, but I found it easy to take his hand, and talk to him and involve him in the process.  It showed me that the kitchen is one place where I am truly comfortable.  Looking back, I end up cooking with kids almost every time I babysit for someone.  I am not a good imagination play person, but I can make muffins and cookies and serve hot chocolate tea parties to kids by the dozen. And since I was in one of my safe places, I was able to extend myself just enough to find common ground with a very special nephew. 

As the smoothie, and later just water whirled around, I watched his face light up and his eyes sparkle.  I had never seen him so happy in my presence, and it made me feel so light and filled to know that I had helped just a little.  I know I have missed a lot of time with this little guy, but I am glad to start now developing my own relationship with him.

The whole weekend was wonderful and I can't wait to see him again.  I hope we find other cooking projects to do.  I have my Kitchenaid and my Blendtec on the ready when that time comes again.