Try to Remember

I think that a lot of the time I take being a mom for granted. My life settles into a routine of taking care of Anna and getting my "chores" done. I find myself sometimes groaning when I hear her begin to stir in her bedroom, signaling that her nap is over. And there are some days when I realize that all I have done is just filled in the time until she goes to bed....

But sometimes I really get it....
that I have been given an incredible gift (even if I don't always appreciate it). And I can only hope that I get to keep that gift for as long as possible.

In those moments, I try to remember everything about my daughter, about being her mom-- what her hair smells like after a bath, the way she squeals when she is being chased, the way she pulls on her hair as she is falling asleep, how she grabs my hand when she wants to show me something, and the look on her face when I come into her room in the morning. No one has ever loved me like that.

That is when I linger an extra few minutes in her room when I am putting her to bed. I take my time rocking her to sleep so I can stroke her hair and listen to her breathe. Sometimes she goes right to sleep in my arms, but sometimes she looks back at me, and I try to remember that too-- that look of absolute trust. And so I whisper "I love you." I want her last waking thought to be how much her mommy loves her.

so yeah, I take it for granted sometimes...
but other times, I really get it. Like today.