Families by the numbers

A neighbor of mine asked me today "so, are you guys planning on having another kid soon? You guys are Mormons so I know that means you are going to have a big family!"

and that got me thinking...

Big families scare me....

I know what you are thinking-- "but Rachael, you come from a big family!"

and I reiterate, big families scare me! To this day, whenever my family gets together, I mean really gets together, all of us, I have to retreat to my bedroom every couple hours or so to recuperate and breathe before I can go back in to the chaos.

Richard has only one sibling, so you can imagine we have had some interesting conversation when it comes to our family planning. And while many people like to duplicate the kind of family situation they come from, it has been me primarily that is scared of having "too" many children.

How many is "too" many? I really don't know that there is an approximate number. I have seen families that have many children and all the siblings seem to love each other, and they all get along and everyone seems to get the attention they need and they can't imagine anything better than their own family.

And then I have seen other people for whom one child was probably too many...

I think everyone has different capabilities. I also think that God is as much concerned with our happiness as parents as he is that our children are happy and born into loving homes. Maybe I am naive in thinking that parenting should be enjoyable. And I think it is enjoyable, as long as you know your own capacity to parent. And if you can have a dozen and give them all love and attention and care-- then I applaud you and I support you and I hope your kids are friends with my kids. But I also think it is okay to have a small family. Not all Mormons have big families. And while families are a part of God's plan for us, there is no mandate as to number.

I have friends who had their first babies around the same time as me, and now they are close to having their seconds...and I can't help but feel that I am still not quite ready to add to our family. I am really enjoying this time with Anna, and it will never be this way again-- just the three of us. And perhaps a part of it, is that I wish I had had this same kind of time with my own parents.

I feel like every family has their own timing...every child has their own timing. And the goal, as always, is to find happiness in your own home.

And I am happy.