About a year after Richard and I got married, Richard signed up for the St. George marathon on kind of a "I will if you will" dare. He didn't get in thanks to the lottery system. He will tell you himself that he was relieved not to have gotten in that year.
So it was with some surprise that when I announced I was going to register for the 2013 Seattle Rock n Roll marathon, Richard casually added that he would sign up too. Luckily for him, his best friend got married in Colorado on the same day, thus making it impossible for us to run that year. Luckily for me, the Seattle Rock n Roll people let us defer until 2014 for a small fee (or a big fee...)
And a year and a half later, we found ourselves here: At the space needle, wearing bibs, headphones, and big smiles. One of us was excited, and the other was really REALLY excited because she was fulfilling a lifelong dream of running a marathon with her spouse at her side (but I won't tell you who was who).
And I have to tell you...when we first registered, I was a doubter! Richard and I almost broke up several times when we were dating because I was determined to make a runner/exerciser out of him and he was determined that whoever he was with needed to accept him as he was (which is not a guy who wants to run on Christmas morning, or on his birthday I will have you know). Well, eventually I figured it out that I would miss out on marrying pretty much the greatest man ever if I held fast to this stupid ideal of marrying a marathon runner. So I let go of my dream and held fast to Richard. And I stopped trying to change that part of him. I was okay being the only runner in our relationship.
Skip forward to 2014. It was March. The marathon was fast approaching. While I had been consistently running for some time, Richard had not. He had been working on his career and being a great husband and father, but he had not been running. Because of our contentious exercise history, it was with some trepidation that I approached a sleeping Richard one Saturday morning, nudged him awake and said, "umm, according to the schedule, you need to run 9 miles today..."
Imagine my surprise when he said "okay" and got up. Not enthusiastically.... but he got up. I was even more surprised when he asked me my advice about how he should get started. I told him the most important thing was to get the distance in. That it didn't matter if he ended up walking the majority of the time, that it would build his confidence if he could just finish the distance. So he said, "I think I can only do 5 miles today." I told him to do 6. To always do one more mile than he thought he could do. To prove to himself that he was stronger than he thought he was. And he did it. He ran 6 miles that first morning.
And from then on out, Richard was his own master. He got up to go running on his own. He planned out his schedule, chose his runs, figured out what kind of fuel and hydration he needed, and painstakingly picked out the perfect playlist. I did my long runs on Thursday mornings and he did his on Saturday. Every once in awhile he would ask my advice on some issue he had, but for the most part Richard was just a machine-- getting the distance finished week after week. And it wasn't killing him either. He seemed rejuvenated! After his 18 mile run he helped a neighbor move and helped me get ready for a party we were having. I was shocked and amazed and SO impressed.
Richard once read an article on the topic of larger persons running marathons. Richard is 6 foot 5 inches tall and close to 270 lbs (I think). The amount of work that is required to move his body across a given distance is about twice the amount that is required to move mine. He burned about twice the calories I did. The article also stated that a 10 minute mile for a 240 lb person is the equivalent work as an 8 minute mile in a man who weighs only 10 lbs. I will probably truly never understand the all that Richard asked of himself and his body over the months of training that we did.
Richard had two things that he was really looking forward to: running on the I-90 bridge to Seattle, and for the rest of his life saying "I have run a marathon"
Here is what I was really looking forward to: crossing the marathon holding hands and then eating a crazy amount of fatty food like a cuban sandwich and chocolate chip cookies :)
Richard liked the idea of traffic stopping for him-- of running where only cars had been and were allowed. HE also liked the idea of running in the tunnels. And while it was a nice reprieve from the sun, the actual running part was more challenging because you were running on an angle.
Richard woke up the morning of the marathon feeling pretty awful. He was coming down with a cold (thanks Benjamin) and hadn't slept well. However, when we got to the starting line, Richard was pretty pumped. It was a really fun atmosphere and the day was going to be just beautiful-- a perfect day to run in our city. Richard didn't even need his music for the first 7 miles. There was so much to see and take in and experience. I had decided to run this race with Richard and not worry about anything other than completing the run with him by my side. For the first half of the marathon, we were right on pace. But about halfway through, Richard started feeling sick to his stomach. He said he was either going to pass out or throw up. Well, he did neither. He kept on going. We started walking more and more of the miles from then on, but Richard never quit. Even when he started seeing the medic wagons picking up the runners who had dropped along the way, he kept moving his feet forward.
At one point, Richard told me that I could go ahead and run without him if I wanted. I think he didn't want to feel like he was holding me back. I told him that this marathon was the allegory to our lives. WE had signed up to run this race together. We would finish together or not at all. I wasn't going to leave him. He told me at the beginning of the race that he was in part doing this marathon for me, because he knew I had always dreamed of running a marathon with my husband. Well, since he was doing that for me, I knew I wanted to do this for him and stay by his side until we crossed the finish line together. We finished in just under 6 hours.
To Richard I would like to say-- you may not be my running buddy, but you are the greatest partner I could wish for! I happen to be good at running, but you are strong in so many areas where I am weak. You have never asked me to be anything other than who I am. I know this was hard for you, but I am proud of you for tackling the challenge, for continuing when it hurt, and for being better, and stronger, and more committed than even I thought you could be. I admire you so much. You amaze me and I am so proud to be your wife!
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