He did it!

About a year after Richard and I got married, Richard signed up for the St. George marathon on kind of a "I will if you will" dare.  He didn't get in thanks to the lottery system.  He will tell you himself that he was relieved not to have gotten in that year.

So it was with some surprise that when I announced I was going to register for the 2013 Seattle Rock n Roll marathon, Richard casually added that he would sign up too.  Luckily for him, his best friend got married in Colorado on the same day, thus making it impossible for us to run that year.  Luckily for me, the Seattle Rock n Roll people let us defer until 2014 for a small fee (or a big fee...)

And a year and a half later, we found ourselves here:  At the space needle, wearing bibs, headphones, and big smiles.  One of us was excited, and the other was really REALLY excited because she was fulfilling a lifelong dream of running a marathon with her spouse at her side (but I won't tell you who was who).

 And I have to tell you...when we first registered, I was a doubter!  Richard and I almost broke up several times when we were dating because I was determined to make a runner/exerciser out of him and he was determined that whoever he was with needed to accept him as he was (which is not a guy who wants to run on Christmas morning, or on his birthday I will have you know).  Well, eventually I figured it out that I would miss out on marrying pretty much the greatest man ever if I held fast to this stupid ideal of marrying a marathon runner.  So I let go of my dream and held fast to Richard.  And I stopped trying to change  that part of him.  I was okay being the only runner in our relationship.

 Skip forward to 2014.  It was March.  The marathon was fast approaching.  While I had been consistently running for some time, Richard had not.   He had been working on his career and being a great husband and father, but he had not been running. Because of our contentious exercise history, it was with some trepidation that I approached a sleeping Richard one Saturday morning, nudged him awake and said, "umm, according to the schedule, you need to run 9 miles today..."

 Imagine my surprise when he said "okay" and got up.  Not enthusiastically.... but he got up.  I was even more surprised when he asked me my advice about how he should get started.  I told him the most important thing was to get the distance in.  That it didn't matter if he ended up walking the majority of the time, that it would build his confidence if he could just finish the distance.  So he said, "I think I can only do 5 miles today."  I told him to do 6.  To always do one more mile than he thought he could do.  To prove to himself that he was stronger than he thought he was.  And he did it.  He ran 6 miles that first morning.

 And from then on out, Richard was his own master. He got up to go running on his own. He planned out his schedule, chose his runs, figured out what kind of fuel and hydration he needed, and painstakingly picked out the perfect playlist.  I did my long runs on Thursday mornings and he did his on Saturday.  Every once in awhile he would ask my advice on some issue he had, but for the most part Richard was just a machine-- getting the distance finished week after week.  And it wasn't killing him either. He seemed rejuvenated!  After his 18 mile run he helped a neighbor move and helped me get ready for a party we were having.  I was shocked and amazed and SO impressed.

 Richard once read an article on the topic of larger persons running marathons.  Richard is 6 foot 5 inches tall and close to 270 lbs (I think).  The amount of work that is required to move his body across a given distance is about twice the amount that is required to move mine.  He burned about twice the calories I did. The article also stated that a 10 minute mile for a 240 lb person is the equivalent work as an 8 minute mile in a man who weighs only 10 lbs.   I will probably truly never understand the all that Richard asked of himself and his body over the months of training that we did.

 Richard had two things that he was really looking forward to:  running on the I-90 bridge to Seattle, and for the rest of his life saying "I have run a marathon"
Here is what I was really looking forward to:  crossing the marathon holding hands and then eating a crazy amount of fatty food like a cuban sandwich and chocolate chip cookies :)

 Richard liked the idea of traffic stopping for him-- of running where only cars had been and were allowed.  HE also liked the idea of running in the tunnels.  And while it was a nice reprieve from the sun, the actual running part was more challenging because you were running on an angle.

 Richard woke up the morning of the marathon feeling pretty awful.  He was coming down with a cold (thanks Benjamin) and hadn't slept well.  However, when we got to the starting line, Richard was pretty pumped.  It was a really fun atmosphere and the day was going to be just beautiful-- a perfect day to run in our city. Richard didn't even need his music for the first 7 miles.  There was so much to see and take in and experience. I had decided to run this race with Richard and not worry about anything other than completing the run with him by my side. For the first half of the marathon, we were right on pace.  But about halfway through, Richard started feeling sick to his stomach.  He said he was either going to pass out or throw up.  Well, he did neither.  He kept on going.  We started walking more and more of the miles from then on, but Richard never quit.  Even when he started seeing the medic wagons picking up the runners who had dropped along the way, he kept moving his feet forward.

At one point, Richard told me that I could go ahead and run without him if I wanted.  I think he didn't want to feel like he was holding me back.  I told him that this marathon was the allegory to our lives.  WE had signed up to run this race together.  We would finish together or not at all.  I wasn't going to leave him.  He told me at the beginning of the race that he was in part doing this marathon for me, because he knew I had always dreamed of running a marathon with my husband.  Well, since he was doing that for me, I knew I wanted to do this for him and stay by his side until we crossed the finish line together.  We finished in just under 6 hours.

To Richard I would like to say-- you may not be my running buddy, but you are the greatest partner I could wish for! I happen to be good at running, but you are strong in so many areas where I am weak.  You have never asked me to be anything other than who I am.  I know this was hard for you, but I am proud of you for tackling the challenge, for continuing when it hurt, and for being better, and stronger, and more committed  than even I thought you could be.  I admire you so much. You amaze me and I am so proud to be your wife!

why choosing your running partner is almost as important as choosing your spouse

There have been two proposals in my life that I have been really excited about.

The first, and most important, was when my husband Richard proposed to me and asked me to be his wife. That changed my life forever for the better.  And 7 years later, we are still married!

The second proposal was when my friend Carrie asked me if I would be her running buddy.  This was no small decision.   Of course I enthusiastically accepted her proposal.  I think I even said something like, "I thought you would never ask!"

We made racing plans and signed up for marathons together.  We picked out shoes and jersey colors...(not really).

There are actually a lot of parallels between your running buddy and your spouse:

Running buddies provide accountability.  You are invested in each other. You know that someone is relying on you to get up in the morning and put on your running shoes.  Even on mornings when you would rather just roll over and sleep 15 more minutes, the thought of your running buddy meeting you on the trail is sometimes just enough for you to make that first step out of bed.  But like spouses, running buddies also are understanding of the days that you are just not yourself or not giving your finest.   A good running buddy does not pass judgment when you have to skip a day because you were up all night with your baby or when you just have to have a day off.

A good running buddy is flexible and understanding.  Sometimes a long run has to happen at 5:00 or 5:30 am, but a really good running buddy will get up and do it with you because they understand that a long run together is not nearly as long!

A good running buddy runs with you in training and matches your pace, but lets you do your own personal best on race day.  Neither one should hold the other person back.  And so, like a spouse, it is important to choose a running buddy with whom you are equally yoked and have similar goals.  A good running buddy should help you to progress and be your best without ever making you feel like you need to change.

Running buddies see you at your best and your worst.  They get the bed hair, the eyes full of gunk, the sometimes unbrushed teeth.  They see you sweaty and panting and sometimes throwing up.  When you get injured, they are the first person to know about it-- in fact, they are probably the person who will help you limp home.  But they are also the person who knows better than anyone else when you have done your personal best, when you have just smashed your own personal record.  They are the person you call when you finish a race because they were the person who helped you get ready for it and they understand your euphoria in meeting or exceeding your goal.

And, like a spouse, you should choose a running buddy that you like a lot and enjoy spending time with.  I spend more talking time with my running buddy than any other adult in my life outside my husband. During peak training, we are spending up to 5-6 hours a week just talking (which is what women do when they run together).  And its really enjoyable.  There have been days prior to a big run when I have been excited, not just to run, but to get the chance to hang out with my running buddy and talk for a few hours. Its like therapy only more fun (and probably just as effective). A lot of times I have come to a run with a problem or feeling anxiety over something in my life, only to find it eased after talking through it with my running buddy.  At the last marathon expo we attended, my running buddy found a T-shirt that said,

 "what's said on the long run stays on the long run!" 

And its absolutely true.  I have found myself exposing some of my greatest insecurities to the person running beside me.  Maybe all the endorphins being released into your body makes you feel like you can say anything.  And I do feel that way.  A good running buddy should be a good listener, friend, and life coach.

So, if your spouse happens to be your running buddy, then your marriage has probably achieved a level of bliss only reserved for psalms and poetry. But I don't know of many husband/wife running buddies.  It's also hard to find time to run together with two little kids in the house.  Therefore, most of us runners will have to find that magic dynamic at least twice-- once when seeking for a spouse, and the other when seeking a running buddy!

Orcas Island mini break

So the only vacation that our family had planned for the entire summer was a 2 day stay on Orcas Island.  Last year we spent nearly a month out of the state of Washington for various weddings and family gatherings.  But we happen to live in a location where people COME to vacation.  So this year we are enjoying everything the Northwest has to offer-- here!  There is no need to go or stay anyplace else.  But Orcas Island is truly special, so we went up there in mid-June, to officially usher in our summer.

The day we were supposed to leave happened to be one of the great low-tide days of the whole year, so before we left for the ferry, we stopped at Alki beach to take in the starfish, crabs, and sea anemones.

It was beautiful and sunny-- a perfect way to start vacation.  What I love about Alki beach is the smell.  I know that low tide is not always the most ideal aromatic, but it smells like ocean!  And I love living near the coast.

I had to do a selfie on the rocky craigs!

Benjamin is at such a wonderful, endearing curious stage.  He wants to explore and touch everything-- especially if it is creepy crawly stuff.  I love seeing the world through his eyes.

And just in the last couple of months, Anna and Benjamin have started jelling as siblings. They can laugh and play together.  Benjamin worships Anna and wants to be near her always, doing what she does, and she loves having his adoration.

 On the way up the ferry terminal, we had to stop by Cafe Rio.  Best food.  And up until a few months ago, I had to travel to Utah to get my fix.  I have eaten at Cafe Rio so many times with friends and family.  It is nostalgia on a plate that happens to be freaking delicious!

 Is there anything cuter than a Benjamin boy asleep in his car sleep?  I challenge you to find anything more calming than watching this kid sleep and snore softly.

 We got to the ferry terminal just minutes after its most recent departure (to my utter dismay), so we had 3 hours to wait until the next one ("this trip is ruined!").  After taking a walk and singing a made up song to myself about being cheerful, I finally came to the obvious conclusion that we were on vacation, whether it was on a beach at the ferry terminal or a beach on orcas island.

 water is water and sand is sand and blue skies are beautiful no matter where you are.  Richard is better at realizing that than I am.  It takes me some time to adjust

i think riding the ferry is just as much part of the adventure as staying on the island.  The kids loved it!

 This was the cabin we stayed in.  2 bedroom, 2 bath, and with a hot tub on deck!  Oh yeah.

and a television in the living room.  I had forgotten what it was like to watch a movie on a real t.v.

 of course, the first thing you have to do in any new place is jump on the bed. Its a tradition.  Benjamin and Anna had their own room, complete with bunk bed.  Anna claimed the top of course.

Benjamin gave the place his seal of approval as well.

 WE found some bunny visitors in the first half hour we were there.  They were our companions the entire time we stayed there.  we would see them in the morning and at night just outside on the lawn.

 In the two days we stayed there, we went hot tubbing 4 times-- once in the morning and once at night. WE didn't mind at all that it was kind of rainy during our trip.  With such a nice cabin, we had most fun just staying in and enjoying being together.

 Our place even provided a light breakfast for us.  When we got there, the fridge was stocked with milk, orange juice, eggs, bananas, and granola.  Everything tastes better on vacation, especially when you are not the one making it.

  Benjamin christened our cabin by jumping for the first time with both feet off the ground-- a major milestone for him.

 Our second day on Orcas Island we went into the Eastsound area to enjoy the low tide.  At low tide, you can access Indian Island, which is normally completely surrounded by water.

We found hundreds of star fish.  Even after an hour of finding groups of starfish like this one, Benjamin would still point and say "Star fish, I found a starfish!" as if it were something completely new and brilliant.

This is my panorama of the view from the top of Indian Island.

 crabbies!

 Reading to Benjamin

 At the top of Mount Constitution.  Probably the most scenic area I have ever been to.  360 degrees of the San Juan Islands.  On a clear day it is breathtaking.

 You can see all the way to Vancouver Island and Bellingham and a dozen other islands.

 Richard is really happy here.  He normally doesn't take selfies, but this was a special occasion.

 The ferry ride back to real life.  Anna is giving her Pringles duck impresion-- A Rose family tradition since 2010.

A happy family.  It was just a couple of days, but we packed a lot of smiles, laughing, exploring, good food and hand holding into those days.

The Old and New of School

Anna graduated last week from preschool.

We just watched The Incredibles in our house, and the super parents in the movie are having an argument about Mr. Incredible attending his sons 4th grade graduation.  Mr. Incredible asserts that it is not a graduation, that Dash is just moving from 4th grade to 5th grade and that our world is finding new ways to "celebrate mediocrity."
I always kind of agreed with him.  My dad didn't even attend my college graduation because he said it wasn't my "real" graduation.  He would attend when I graduated from law school three years later.  So I guess the bar was pretty high in my head.
But then I saw firsthand the kind of progress a child makes in an individual grade.  I saw the challenges and obstacles, the triumphs and strength building  moments that are a unique product of that year's environment, teacher, and classmates.  I saw Anna struggle to sit still and follow directions.  I saw Anna struggle to make friends and learn appropriate ways to approach other children.  At the beginning of the year I honestly didn't know if Anna was going to be ready for Kindergarten the following year.

And at the end of the year, her handwriting had become legible, she knew her letters, she could (but sometimes still didn't) wait quietly for her turn to speak.  She could follow directions.  She could ask politely for something.  She could draw detailed pictures with people and places and explain them.  She finally made friends and found better and more polite ways to approach those friends.  By the time her preschool graduation rolled around, I truly felt like we had something special to celebrate.  She had made it through a fairly tumultuous year, and she was still the happy girl we loved but with some new found skills.

We live in an area that is well known for having great schools.  But all the great schools and programs can be a little overwhelming when you are trying to figure out your child's academic future.  There were two elementary schools in my hometown when I grew up-- West Elementary and East Elementary.  They were divided geographically, and that was that!  Here, there are so many schools and you have choices, and as a parent, you start thinking "if the flapping of a butterfly's wing can change the course of history, then what impact can the choice of schools have on my child????"  Well, it only determines her friends, peer group, future crushes, teachers, role models, after school activities, profession, and contribution to society (or so you start thinking).  And that is just the choice of schools.  Don't even get me started on what kind of extra curricular activities they choose.

Well, we decided to put Anna in a spanish immersion elementary called Puesta del Sol.  It is a great school, and she will actually know a handful of her classmates already. Additionally, even when we move from our rental and buy a house, she can stay in her school and have that consistency and stability.  Because I am actually one of those parents who believe that school environment has a great impact on an individual's life, I felt nervous about the long term impact of my decision. So, as I was driving to her new school to turn in all the necessary registration forms, I said a prayer, asking for Heavenly Father to help me know whether sending Anna to this school was the right choice for her and for us.  As I gave God the opportunity to respond to my prayer, I felt the impression that He had purposes for our family in this decision.  Maybe it is important for our family to learn spanish because someday we will live in a spanish speaking country (wait, we already do!).  Perhaps Anna will make that one great friend who will help her successfully navigate her childhood.  Perhaps either Anna or Benjamin, or both, will one day serve missions for the church in Spanish speaking countries. For whatever reason, I felt like Heavenly Father was watching over us and helping us to make the right decision for our family.

Spring break in Sequim

SEQUIM (pronounced "skwim"), is the best vacation secret in Washington.  IN fact, the entire Olympic Penninsula is the best vacation secret in Washington.  Sleepy little towns with stunning views.  We happened to have some good friends who had some connections here and so we packed up our two families and stayed for the weekend.  There was running, some gaming, some game-feeding, and lots of good food.  And it was an interesting experience living with another family for the weekend.  Being able to observe another set of parents interacting with their children in the morning and at meals and at bedtime, I started noticing ways I wanted to be better with my own family.  Rather than feeling dejected at my own parental inadequacies, I felt inspired.  It probably helped that it was General Conference weekend and we interspersed the playing with listening to talks from the apostles.

Our trip started off with a bang!  We took a 40 minute ferry ride to cut our driving time and got to enjoy sunny views of the water while we wolfed down Ivars seafood

 The kids had a blast.  I am so glad I get to raise my children in such a beautiful part of the world and the opportunity to expose them to some wonderful experiences.

All 4 adults are in training for marathons/half marathons, so on Saturday morning we all took turns running.  Carrie and I got the first turn, so we caught the sunrise. The Olympic mountains are breathtaking!

 

This is the view out onto the Dungeness Bay and the Straight of Juan de fuca.

 

 

Carrie and I also caught some obliging deer who were on their way to Starbucks I assume...

 On Sunday we spent almost the whole day on the Dungeness spit-- a 5 1/2 mile sandbar/mini penninsula that extends out into the bay.  The kids played in the sand and we picnicked and listened to conference talks, and dozed in the sunshine.

 We found this awesome teepee fort looking thing that the kids instantly adopted and remade into their own world.

 

this was a view of the bay around sunset.

 On the last day, the deer came back around to our house, much to the delight of our kids.

 One of my favorite parts of our vacation was our trip to the Olympic game farm.  You pay for admission, you pay for a few loaves of bread, and then you just drive and meander through their park, feeding the large "game" along the way.

 WE started out small with some baby deer.

 We only drove about 5 mph, so Anna and Benjamin came up front with us.

 The Buffalo were pretty intense.  Their heads were as big as our entire window, and their tongues are black and slimy!

 Anna's favorite animals were the peacocks.  They were the least threatening, I think.  She spent the first half of the drive crying in terror from the backseat.  I think she thought the animals were going to eat us as well as our bread.  It took quite a few fancy peacocks to calm her down enough to enjoy the rest of the experience.  It wasn't until a Donkey licked my hand that she finally embraced the silliness and fun of the adventure.

 The zebras were so cool!  Big teeth.  There were warning signs that they could bite, but we came away unscathed!

 Carnivores were kept behind fences.  No feeding them!  But we were still amazingly close to them.  And I swear to you, they wave when you drive by!  I almost thought they were animatronic.  They were bears that actually acted bear like (at least they way you think bears would act, like in Yogi bear...)

Overall, it was one of the best vacations I have ever had in all my 32 years.  We plan to make Sequim a yearly tradition for our family. 
I am so thankful we are friends with the Hong family, and that they were generous enough to let us crash their own spring break vacation and let us rub shoulders with their family for a few days.  After 72 hours with them, I only like them more.