Happy Birthday Anna B!

Dear Anna,
Happy 1st birthday today.
Do you remember a year ago when we met each other for the first time? I think we were both a little wary of each other-- after all, we were going to be spending a lot of time together in the future, and we both weren't quite sure how it was going to turn out. I had never been very good at keeping either plants or pets alive, and yet you were willing to place your small hand in mine and trust me to take care of you. My sister Carly once said that if your baby was alive at the end of each day, that you had succeeded as a mother. So every night I would sneak into your room while you were sleeping, and I would listen to your breathing and reassure myself you were still here with me. I still love to listen to you breathe.

You put up with so much this past year. The guess and check method works adequately in math, but I had no rough draft to practice on before you, and you felt the full brunt of my learning curve. You complained very little when I would waffle between one parenting style and another-- letting you cry yourself to sleep one night, and then cradling you the next when I couldn't take it anymore. Thank you for being so forgiving. I think maybe you took pity on me-- perhaps because you could see (I prayed so often that you would see) how much I loved you, adored you, lived for you, and tried my hardest to be the best mother I could be.

And now when I look at you, I see the most beautiful girl in the world, and I have to remind myself that you belong to me. I don't know how I got so lucky-- especially when you hug me and laugh and I feel that mom pride that says, "I made this!" And despite all the mistakes I have made this past year, you seem to be happy and thriving. And miraculously, you seem to love me back. I know my time with you is borrowed, that someday you will be a teenager who spends far more time away from your home than in it, so I will try to cherish these days of playgrounds and naps and story time and afternoon walks and breakfast in our pajamas.

Happy birthday my little love-- it has been the best year of my life!